332'

"I read for examinations. I read in order to be able to hold my own in conversation. I read for instruction. Here I learned to read for pleasure. I learned to talk. Do you know that conversation is one of the greatest pleasures in life? But it wants leisure. I'd always been too busy before. And gradually all the life that had seemed so important to me began to seem rather trivial and vulgar. What is the use of all this hustle and this constant striving? I think of Chicago now and I see a dark, grey city, all stone--it is like a prison--and a ceaseless turmoil. And what does all that activity amount to? Does one get there the best out of life? Is that what we come into the world for, to hurry to an office, and work hour after hour till night, then hurry home and dine and go to a theatre? Is that how I must spend my youth? Youth lasts so short a time, Bateman. And when I am old, what have I to look forward to? To hurry from my home in the morning to my office and work hour after hour till night, and then hurry home again, and dine and go to a theatre? That may be worth while if you make a fortune; I don't know, it depends on your nature; but if you don't, is it worth while then? I want to make more out of my life than that, Bateman."

"What do you value in life then?"

"I'm afraid you'll laugh at me. Beauty, truth, and goodness."

"I haven't failed. I've succeeded. You can't think with what zest I look forward to life, how full it seems to me and how significant. Sometimes, when you are married to Isabel, you will think of me. I shall build myself a house on my coral island and I shall live there, looking after my trees--getting the fruit out of the nuts in the same old way that they have done for unnumbered years--I shall grow all sorts of things in my garden, and I shall fish. There will be enough work to keep me busy and not enough to make me dull. I shall have my books and Eva, children, I hope, and above all, the infinite variety of the sea and the sky, the freshness of the dawn and the beauty of the sunset, and the rich magnificence of the night. I shall make a garden out of what so short a while ago was a wilderness. I shall have created something. The years will pass insensibly, and when I am an old man I hope that I shall be able to look back on a happy, simple, peaceful life. In my small way I too shall have lived in beauty. Do you think it is so little to have enjoyed contentment? We know that it will profit a man little if he gain the whole world and lose his soul. I think I have won mine."

"我并没有失败。我成功了。你想象不出我多么热切地想投入生活，生活对我来说多么充实、多么有意义。当你同伊莎贝尔结婚以后，有时你会想起我来的。我将在珊瑚岛上盖一所房子，我要住在那儿，照看我的椰子树——用他们用了无数年的老法子取出椰壳里的果肉——我将在我的花园里种植各式各样的花草树木，我还要捕鱼。有的是工作让我不得停闲，我不会感到厌烦无聊。我会有我的书籍、伊娃， 也有孩子——我希望，更重要的是，我会有千变万化的海洋、天空，清新的黎明、灿烂的落日和壮丽辉煌的夜晚。我会在不久以前还是一片荒野的土地上开垦出一个花园。我将会创造出一些东西来。岁月不知不觉地流逝，当我年纪老了，回首一生，我希望我过的是朴实、宁静、幸福的生活。尽管没有什么大作为，我将也是在“美”中过此一生。你是不是认为我满足于这一些东西太没有志气了？我们知道，假如一个人得到了整个世界却丢失了自己的灵魂，那他是没有什么意义的。我认为我已经获得了我的灵魂了。"